


Blood For Blood

by magikhands



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 22:30:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magikhands/pseuds/magikhands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 4  “When the Levee Breaks”<br/>** Sam is locked in Bobby’s panic room to detox from Demon Blood. Only his hallucinations turn to reality when Castiel decides to try and help him. **<br/>Happy for now ending<br/>This completely blows seasons 5-8 out of the water…sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood For Blood

“Okay. Let me out. This is not funny.” Sam looked at Dean through the small window in the door of Bobby’s panic room. 

“Damn straight.”

“Dean, come on. This is crazy.” He couldn’t believe they locked him in here. 

“No. Not until you dry out.”

“Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. Just open the door.” Agitation and impatience wore at him, but he was willing to apologize to get out.

“You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. It's not your fault that you lied to me over and over again. I get it now. You couldn't help it.”

“I'm not some junkie.” Yet he was being treated like one.

“Really? I guess I've just imagined how strung out you've been lately.”

“You're actually trying to twist this into some kind of ridiculous drug intervention?” Hell, he just wanted to get out of this small room. He just needed to kill some demons, find Ruby, and find Lilith.

“If it smells like a duck.”

“Dean, I'm not drinking the demon blood for kicks. I'm getting strong enough to kill Lilith.” It took all his control not to completely blow up at Dean, who could let him out.

“Strong?”

“Yeah.” His fingers curled into fists as the strain got to him.

“This is about as far away from strong as you can get. Try weak. Try desperate. Pathetic.”

“Killing Lilith is what matters. Or are you so busy being self-righteous you forgot about her?” Sam was about to lose it. How could his brother be so arrogant and blind?

“Oh, Lilith's gonna die. Bobby and I will kill her. But not with you.”

“You're not serious.” 

“Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the apocalypse.”

“Dean, look—no, wait—“ He started to plead now. As the window cover closed, panic overwhelmed Sam. “Come back here. Dean! Let me out of here! Dean! Let me out of here! Let me out! Dean!”

Several Hours Later…

Fire coursed through Sam’s veins. The pain was unbearable. He could no longer hold back the scream that tore from his throat. His body seized, every muscle became rigid. The demon blood inside him was burning him alive. Only the handcuffs on his wrists and ankles kept him on the bed.

For hours his mind and body fought as he sat detoxing as Dean said. But it was unlike any detox he’d ever witnessed. He saw things. Felt things. Half the time he didn’t know if they were real or all in his head. 

Sam’s throat was raw and his voice hoarse from pleading to Dean and Bobby to let him out. He’d even given in to praying to Castiel for help. His body ached from the spasms. There were times he wasn’t sure he’d survive whatever the demon blood was doing to him. 

Alastair’s torture was horrendous. The things he said, the things he did caused Sam to panic. He felt each cut. The burn of the blade slicing open his skin. The pain of his skin being flayed off was nearly too much to take. He cried out to Dean for help, but there was no answer.

Alastair laughed. “Dean is no hero. In fact, I’m sure he’ll be right here soon enough to help me dissect you. Find out what makes you tick.”

“No! No! Alastair, stop!” Sam closed his eyes and felt the next cut, deeper, longer than the others. “Oh, God, no, no. Please!” Then he prayed. “Cas, please help me. I know you’re there. Please.”

Silence.

And the pain was gone.

It was a brief rest as Alastair was gone when he opened his eyes. It had been all in his head. But the reprieve didn’t last long.

Dean stared down at him, shaking his head. “You’re a monster. Always have been. I don’t know why I went to hell to save your sorry, weak ass. What’s dead should stay dead.”

“Please, Dean. No, not you. I’m not. Please, don’t-” Sam gasped. The fire seared hotter in his veins. It took his breath. Tears blurred his vision. The pain spread to every inch of his body. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak.

Dean leaned down until he was only inches away from Sam’s face. “Dad was right. We should have let you die when you were a baby.”

Sam closed his eyes again and screamed a silent cry. 

Stillness.

Dean was gone. But the word “monster” echoed in his head. 

“I’m not a monster. I’m not a monster,” Sam repeated over and over, eyes squeezed shut as the burn calmed slightly. But he knew he was a monster. There was no more denying it.

“Sam.”

The voice washed over him like cool water. Soothing the heat, but not extinguishing it. Sam climbed out of the pain filled haze and opened his eyes.

“Cas?” Was this a hallucination too? Was Castiel really there? Despite the fire, his body began to thrum with desire. A need that Sam had repressed since first laying eyes on the angel and a response that happened anytime the angel was near. 

Sam shuddered when Cas reached out and brushed the hair from his forehead. How long had he ached for the slightest touch from Cas? Yearned to feel the electricity that flowed through his body every time their skin made the most insignificant contact. The fantasies and dreams were nothing compared to the reality of a touch from the angel of the Lord.

“I’m here, Sam.” This time Cas slid a finger down Sam’s cheek, over the edge of his jaw.

A pleasure and pain filled moan escaped Sam. He wanted so much for this to be real. Needed it to be real. Perhaps his mind had finally broke. Rather than torture, send in the one thing that he desired most in the world. 

“You’re not real.” Sam turned his head in denial. “You’re not real.”

A hand gently grabbed Sam’s jaw and forced it to turn back. Castiel was still there. “I’m real. I’m here to help.”

Could it be possible?

Hope quickly deflated. No, he could never have Castiel. He was Dean’s. They shared a connection that made Sam envious. Something he and Dean could never share though they shared the same blood. Well, DNA anyway.

“Castiel.” His name came out in the softest whisper. Reverenced. But no hope.

“I cannot let you die.” His hand slid from Sam’s jaw down his throat. Sam was sure that Cas could feel his pulse race. When his hand stopped on Sam’s chest, his shirt disappeared, leaving him bare to the waist. The palm to chest contact sent searing shocks through Sam’s body, overrunning the pain of the demon blood withdrawal.

Cas’ fingers traced the tattoo on his left pec. Sam’s arched his body, the cuffs keeping him from moving any further.

“Please.” Sam wasn’t sure if he was begging Cas to stop, keep touching, or something more. His emotions were a jumbled mess between the pain and pleasure battling within. His cock hardened quickly, aching for release. In a vulnerable position, there was no covering up what the angel’s touch was doing to him.

“Beautiful.”

Had Sam heard right? Maybe it was his mind playing tricks again.

“I’m an abomination,” he murmured.

“That is true. But also more.”

This caught Sam’s attention. Since they’d first met, Castiel had treated him with a stand-offish attitude. No matter what he tried, Cas preferred Dean. He was the soul raised from Hell. Sam was the spawn of demon blood, ingested when he was a helpless baby. Everyone expected him to go evil at any time. Even Dean had looked at him like he was terrified of his own brother.

“There is no helping me. Leave. Go to Dean.” That was the one comfort Sam had. Should he not pull through this Dean had Bobby and Cas. They would watch out for him.

Cas tilted his head, like he heard things that no one else could. “Dean is sleeping.”

Sam let out a sigh. He was so tired. Tired of pain, being a disappointment, being a hunter, being Sam. Pleading for help got him nothing. He was ready for all of this to end. He was ready to give in to the demon blood. Let it take him in the direction it pulled every fiber in his body. Let them kill him. At least, it would be done.

“You can’t give up.” Castiel’s fingers softly caressed his ribs, making the pain bearable and his brain clearer. 

“I’m too tired to fight, Cas.” 

Castiel leaned forward. “I might be able to stop this, but there are always consequences.”

“How? What will happened?” If Cas could stop all of this, why hadn’t he before Dean went to Hell? Before Ruby got him addicted to demon blood? Why now?

“I’m not sure exactly what will happen, but since Cain and Able there has not been a set of more perfect vessels.” He sat back, but didn’t stop touching Sam. “I’m sure to piss some angels off.”

Vessels? As in the Bible’s Cain and Able? What in the hell was he talking about? 

“You and Dean are the results of centuries and centuries of combining bloodlines. Building the perfect vessels. Forcing the perfect circumstances.”

“For what?” Sam tensed, thinking he already knew the answer. There was only one thing a ‘vessel’ was used for. Possession. A demon did it without permission. An angel needed consent.

“The fight that would permanently close Hell.”

Sam let out a breath. Even with all the talking, Sam couldn’t push back the wild yearning that flowed under the heat of his blood. He wanted Cas with every breath. It was an idiotic notion. He reminded himself that it wouldn’t happen. Castiel was an angel of the Lord. Not given to human emotions and lust.

Or was he?

Cas’ hand continued to caress his chest, following the line of hair from his navel to the top of his jeans, before going back up and lightly sliding over his collar bone. The sensations rocking through his body made him want to plead for more. It was so frustrating he wanted to scream, but he also needed more information. Why this was happening to him. To him and Dean.

“I…I don’t understand.” Sam shuddered, feeling like he was about to burst from arousal. Close to begging the angel for more than his touch. A kiss. A brush against his erection. Anything to move this desire to the next level, but he couldn’t. Not yet.

“Lucifer and Michael can only possess vessels of specific bloodlines. They are to fight. If Michael wins, Hell is closed. If Lucifer wins, Heaven is closed. Only no vessels have been strong enough…until now.”

“Why are we so different?” Their whole lives had been different than any others, all starting with a demon killing their mother. There was no such thing as normal. Not for the Winchesters.

“You turned six months on a full moon. The perfect time for a powerful demon to feed you his blood. Not all children develop abilities though. As you saw, not all of the children have the capability to control the abilities.”

Sam willed his body to still. Cas’ touch was driving him mad, even as it was keeping the burning at bay. Slowly he maneuvered the hand closest to where Cas sat to reach out and touch the angel’s leg. Cas looked down, but said nothing.

They stayed that way for several moments before Sam broke the silence, needing more. More information. More contact. A mental and physical war had broken out within him and Sam was ready to jump out of his skin.

“We know what Azazel did to me, but that doesn’t…” He grasped Cas’s leg briefly as the suppressed burn tried to break through whatever was blocking it. 

“Dean.”

Sam nodded. Breath held. The demon blood was insistent. But Sam was stronger, or perhaps as long as Cas was there he was. At least for a little while longer. If all this gave him just a hint of hope, he could survive. He would try.

“Forces tried to keep Mary and John from coming together. From them having one, let alone two children. But fate will always find its way to win one way or another.”

Sam watched Cas as a finger twirled around his nipple. He gasped at the feeling that once more beat back the heat, but not the stimulation he was creating.

“They fascinated me. Mary and John. I watched them. I couldn’t interfere. Then when Dean was born, I…” He paused and looked into Sam’s eyes. “I couldn’t not anymore. On the night he turned six months old, it was a new moon and I touched him. Doing that at that moment gave him the tiniest bit of my grace. I hoped it would protect him.”

Digesting Cas’s words, it all fell together. What Cas did to Dean opened the door for Azazel to interfere also. Anger seeped into the pleasure. Castiel had started this life for him and his family. But life had really shitted on him.

“Why didn’t you stop him?” All his life, Sam had felt different. For more reasons than that their father trained them to be hunters.

“I am sorry, Sam.” There was such sadness in his eyes. His other hand reached out and brushed through Sam’s sweat soaked hair. “I was punished for what I did. By the time I was able to return you were two years old. There was nothing I could do. Until now. Your powers have manifested. Your body is full of activated demon blood.”

“Damn it, Cas.” The anger soothed the desire and calmed his groin. But only a little. Having Cas continually touch him still triggered those hidden desires. Maybe he really was evil for wanting an angel so bad, in such naughty ways.

“I couldn’t protect you before. Let me now, Sam. Let me try and help.” When Sam didn’t agree or disagree he added, “For Dean.”

For Dean? Of course. The child he gave grace to. Jealousy reared its ugly head making him fight his bindings, surprising Cas who withdrew from the cot. The fire returned with a vengeance, scorching his innards. Between the anger and pain, Sam screamed and finally gave in to the blood.

Power built from deep within. It was as if the demon blood was truly bonding with his body, strengthening him. Even as Ruby pushed and goaded him into taking the tainted blood, Sam never truly accepted the power it gave him. But now, as it seeped into his very being, Sam understood the true strength the blood could give him. He felt beyond what words could describe. Like he could take on the world, Satan himself and come out without a scratch. No one would stand in his way.

“No, Sam. Don’t!” He barely heard Cas’ words over the sudden noise in his head.

He felt a wrist release but the victory was short lived as a body fully covered his, cool skin pressed to his heated flesh. His breath caught at the feel of Castiel’s weight.

“No!” Sam tried to tear away the body forcing him down, dousing the fire, stifling the power. 

Hands grabbed Sam’s face and a mouth descended upon his. Sam relished the softness of lips on his, the tongue delving into his mouth, and allowed all else to fall away. His freed hand caressed rather than clawed at the bare back, feeling the muscles contract with each sweep of fingers. He felt the wetness of blood from the ripped skin, as well as sweat and the smoothness of Cas’ back. The erection pressing against his own was a demanding pressure. Impossible to ignore.

Sam allowed Castiel to completely consume him and all his senses. He absorbed the taste and scent of the angel. Like a clear summer night, laced in honey. And damn, could he kiss. 

Sam groaned when Cas pulled away. His free hand tangled in short hair, making sure the angel didn’t go far. Not just yet. Cas in turn had his fingers buried in Sam’s hair, his thumbs softly stroking his temples. The demon blood still rushed in his veins, demanding attention, trying to tempt Sam into total submissiveness. 

“I won’t let you do this, Sam.” He bent his head until their foreheads touched. Their breaths mingled.

“Why do you care so much, Cas?” What he felt for Cas, how Cas was acting toward him now, and everything in the past year was a jumbled mess. Nothing about this was normal.

“You are my greatest sin.” The words rushed out soft and full of relief. “Dean and I, yes, we share something, but you…you are my true weakness. And as much as I’ve tried to deny it, I can’t help but feel this…” he paused and closed his eyes. “Lust, desire, love for you. I can’t watch you go down this path.” 

“I don’t know if I can stop it,” Sam admitted. It had felt so good to let go and not care, let the anger fill him, let the fire completely devour him.

“I have to try. Please, I wasn’t there for you before, let me try now.”

An internal battle ensued inside of Sam. He’d had a taste of real power. The kind that would kill any demon that dared to cross his path. But then, the tiny bolts of electricity traveling his nerves, his complete awareness of Cas as he laid upon him, and the thrumming of renewed arousal brought him a new awareness. 

This entire year of awkward moments, deliberate distance, and lingering interaction with Dean was Cas evading him. Avoiding his feelings. Sam no longer wanted that. He was tired of unfulfilling sex with Ruby. Done with the push and pull of what had happened when he was a defenseless infant and what he might become because of it. If he couldn’t have a normal life, why couldn’t he have a small piece of happiness as he hunted down all the evil creatures in the world?

“How?” 

“My blood.”

Sam stared long into those gorgeous blue eyes. He’d chosen his vessel well. A nice, firm body, soft hair, and those wonderfully exquisite eyes.

“A demon’s blood started it, why can’t an angel’s blood nullify it?”

“In theory.” 

“It’s better than nothing.” Cas lifted slightly and Sam felt all the restraints fall away. He was free.

“Is that a good idea?”

A small smile tweaked his lips. “I trust you.”

“All right. Let’s give it a try.” There was no thinking about it. He’d do anything not to go dark like everyone expected. He had no idea what would happen to him, but how could it be worse than the anguish torturing him right now. He only knew he needed to do something now, before Cas moved off and the demon blood truly took over.

A knife materialized in Cas’ hand. The slice was quick and without hesitation. Sam reached up and held the bleeding arm. His eyes closed as he brought the gash to his lips. He’d done this plenty of times with Ruby, but this time it was different. It was Cas. His angel.

The blood slid smooth down his throat. There was a slight metallic tinge like all blood, but something more. Sweeter. Heavenly.

Again he felt Cas’ fingers smooth through his hair, as if he couldn’t stop himself. Sam found he liked it. The soothing stokes kept his mind off the fact he was drinking more blood. The substance that had started his life to spiral out of control.

Sam whimpered as Cas pulled his arm away. He watched the wound instantly heal, but still Cas didn’t move. Silence filled the room and he found it nerve wracking.

“Now what?”

“We wait.” 

Cas lifted his body slightly like he would get off the cot. Sam was scared and grabbed his hips. The fire had finally subsided, but what if it came back when Cas no longer touched him? 

“Don’t leave.” It came out as a plea. He didn’t want to be alone. He’d been alone for too long. That was probably why he’d clung to Ruby for as long as he did. At least with her there was someone who looked to him for answers, help, well, for anything.

“I’m not leaving.” Cas shifted his body so that he lay beside Sam, who turned so they faced each other and still touched. “Better?”

Sam nodded. His fingers tightened briefly on Cas’ hip before he slid his hand down a little further.

“Sam.” 

His name was breathed out like a word reverenced. It was all it took for him to find the courage and kiss his angel. Cas opened quickly to him, their tongues twisting eagerly like they were starving for the taste of each other. Sam breathed him in, relishing every second touching, kissing, feeling. Desperate for more.

They were both gasping when they separated. Sam’s skin was hot again, but this time it was from desire rather than the demon blood.

“I need you.” He sounded so needy, even to his own ears, it was almost pathetic, but he didn’t care. He needed Cas so bad, there was no way he would stop now. 

“I feel…the same,” Castiel admitted. “But I’m not sure, I only know what Dean…” 

Sam immediately understood. Cas has been a bit naive of the ways of the world. He may know what sex was, but until recently, he probably never actually performed it. That did bring up the question as to whether or not angels had sex with each other in Heaven. Sam doubted it as the ones he’s met were so drab and mission minded. Cas was different.

“It’s all right.” Sam’s hand slipped around Cas’ waist until he was cupping his erection. Cas groaned and did the same to Sam who nearly wept with joy. But reality quickly swept in when pain seized his body. He cried out as a different sensation attacked. Rather than the burn it was a freezing cold that rushed his veins.

Sam shook from the cold, his breath coming out ragged as his lungs tried to function properly despite the frozen onslaught.

“I’m here,” Cas offered comfort.

Sam tried to wrap his arms around the angel, but the movement cause his head to swirl with more pain. Closing his eyes didn’t help much, as every inch of his body was filled with the frozen torment. His stomach lurched, his throat tight as bile tried to rise. Recognizing the feeling, Sam opened his eyes and found that the cot’s mattress was now on the floor of the panic room against the wall. His body was covered in a blanket as Cas’ cradled him in his embrace.

“Don’t…please, don’t do that again,” Sam stuttered out. Cas had used his angel ability to transport them to a different place. The trick always made him sick.

“I won’t.” Cas opened his legs wider to allow Sam’s body to fit better between them, then tucked the blanket closer. “My blood is fighting Azazel’s. I don’t think I can take that pain away.”

“It’s okay,” Sam rasped, willing his body to relax, but it continued to tremble. Hot, cold, hot, and then cold again. But as long as Cas held him, he could hold on. Hope rose as did his perseverance. He would survive. He had too, if not just to kiss his angel again.

 

Four hours later…

Time had ceased to exist. The battle inside his body had finally stopped. He hoped the angel blood won. He wasn’t sure and no way in hell was he ready to let Cas go to find out. But for the moment he felt…well, he wasn’t sure. The constant heat pushing inside, or the cold Castiel’s blood had caused had quit some time ago. 

He would just have to wait to find out.

Sam looked up when the metal creak of the panic room’s door opened. Dean hesitantly stepped in.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Damn, his voice was hoarse. He tried to sit up, but exhaustion had taken over and he didn’t really have the strength to push up. When he tried, the one arm that still surrounded him tightened slightly. He looked up and saw Cas’ eyes were closed, but he’d said angels didn’t sleep.

Dean approached and knelt to Castiel’s right.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m not sure,” Sam answered honestly.

Dean looked at Cas, who still appeared to be sleeping. “Did it work?”

“How did you know?” Though he’d blacked out a couple of times, Sam was positive Cas had not left him for a moment.

“Do you really think I was sleeping?” Dean’s brow rose with the question.

Sam should have known better. To think his brother wasn’t suffering through all of this also was selfish.

“Sammy, I need to apologize.” 

Sam didn’t expect that. “For what?”

“Hell, for everything. For not protecting you more. For not being there for you. For not being able to save you myself.”

“This isn’t your fault, Dean.” He let his head lay back on Castiel’s chest. “This isn’t either of our faults.” He’d thought about telling him what Cas had told him. How their bloodlines had been manipulated, but he decided against it. For now.

“I know.” Dean looked again at Castiel. Something shone in his brother’s eyes, but Sam wasn’t able to discern what it was before it vanished. “But I can’t seem to blame him either.”

“Wait, you know?” Dean was throwing surprises at him left and right today.

Dean slowly nodded, reached out to touch Castiel, but withdrew his hand before he could. “The most sadistic thing a demon can do isn’t lie. It’s to tell the truth. Every little dirty detail.”

“When you had Alastair?”

“Yeah. He thought he could get to me if he told me about, well everything that had to do with our family.” 

Sam could see how it had pained Dean to think about his time in Hell and all that was associated with it or his time there.

“Dean, I’m sorry, I…”

Dean took Sam’s hand and shook his head. “Let’s not do this sappy crap right now, all right, Sammy?”

Sam nodded. “We’ve still got to kill Lilith.”

“I know.” Dean shifted and settled on the floor next to Castiel, Sam’s hand still in his.

“They’ll be coming after Cas for what he did.” The thought sent chills through Sam. He couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to Cas now that things had come out into the open about how they felt.

“”I know.” 

Sam watched as Castiel moved his hand so that it touched Dean’s. Their fingers immediately intertwined. Cas opened his eyes and stared at Dean. “Nothing will happen to Cas.”

Sam’s gaze shifted between his angel and his brother. No, he’d never have what they do, but he had his own connection with Cas. Especially now that his blood was flowing through him.

“We’ll figure it all out, Sammy,” Dean promised. 

“Yeah, we always do,” Sam whispered and closed his eyes, feeling the safest and most content he had since he could remember.

Tomorrow was another day. One filled with questions, worries, enemies, and evil. But today, they had this. Contentment. It was enough to bring hope to full bloom. Maybe they could stop the apocalypse. 

Maybe.


End file.
